The reason want to get into this high school is because of the personal things me and my family went through that made my want to have a career in being a lawyer, every year they ask me what i want to do as work, i always thought i would have to choose something i could do without going to college because i thought i couldn’t make it.

the reason want to get into this High School is because of the personal things me and my family went through that made my want to have a career in being a lawyer, every year they ask me what I want to do as work, I always thought i would have to choose something i could do without going to college because i thought I couldn’t make it. my teachers made me think it would be to hard to learn and they never tried to help me one on one, i feel going to this school will help my education and help me start my career.

I m not happy with the sentence structure for instant.

This essay has to be rewritten so it sounds better and brings over more emotions to the reader. The reader should be able to feel the pain the character goes trough (I am the character). It should also capture the beauty of the event as well as the fact that it was a very big, extraordinary opportunity I had. I m not happy with the sentence structure for instant. It is a personal statement I’m planning to send to several colleges. (Topic: Describe a Life-Changing Event)